The ability to love, gives one's life meaning. When the death of a loved one occurs, the natural response of grief and pain is the cost humans pay for loving another. Yet, in spite of being forever changed as a result of this significant loss, survivors can experience empowerment, good health and hope for a future without the physical presence of a loved one.

Grief and mourning involve a process of learning how to live with the pain of grief. Healing occurs for a bereaved person when the level of intensity of grief lessens. Survivors do have choices as to how to respond to a significant loss. Empowerment and confidence can be experienced as you gain a greater understanding of your own grief as well as a sense of some control when receiving assurance that your thoughts and actions related to grief are "normal" and you are indeed not "going crazy."

You have a choice as to whether to include family and friends when they offer to be a caring presence and a compassionate listener rather than to totally grieve in isolation. Author Henri Nouwen advised, "the friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair of confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing and face with the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares."

You may discover as many survivors do, an inner strength untapped prior to your loss. Staying connected to your loved one through memories in new and creative ways, rather than always clinging to the pain, will bring healing to you.

May you trust the process of grieving and mourning that can take you to the other side of grief. Cherishing the love and special memories of loved one can transform grief into an experience of expectation and confidence for a brighter tomorrow.